


drivers license

by mxniatrax



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alex being a little soft boi, Boys In Love, Break Up, Crying, Emotional, M/M, Memories, Panic Attacks, Post-Break Up, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 21:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxniatrax/pseuds/mxniatrax
Summary: this is just a little sad boi one shot of Alex hearing drivers license for the first time after Luke gave their song, 'bright' to Julie.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 60





	drivers license

"I'm going out for a drive." Alex announced running down the stairs and grabbing his keys from the drawer. How could Luke give Julie their song. It was THEIRS! And he didn't even ask how he felt about having her sing it to get back into the music program. (the boys never died this is them being teenagers in 2021)

"Alex, please be careful." his mom handed him his jacket. He told her about the breakup and how he felt hearing her play the first few riffs on her piano that were meant to be played on Luke's six string.

"I will." he forced a smile. This wasn't Julie's fault. Julie had no idea Luke was even pan, and she knew even less that they had dated. His little sister, Katie, who was only 6, ran up to him to give him a hug. He picked her up with his arms wrapped around her, "I'll be back soon." he promised her. He set her down and stepped onto the front porch checking his phone.

4 missed calls from Babe.

He should probably change that back to Luke. It's been a full two months, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, and now that their song was out in the world with no context about what the words meant to the two of them, he can't even look at the contact photo of Luke sleeping on his chest. He takes a sharp breath and shoves his phone back into his pockets trying to keep it together, unlocking his car. He just needs to clear his head and drive around for a while.

He forces his keys into the ignition, turning on the car and sitting back for a second looking into the windows of his house. His sister is waving to him from the front room. He waves back and rests his hands on the steering wheel. He reaches for his phone, plugging it into the AUX. He scrolls through his Spotify, looking for something uplifting. He just ends up playing the daily mix that Spotify recommended to him.

He puts the gear in reverse for the first time after getting his license. He felt powerful, like everything in his life lead up to this one moment. He looked behind him, beginning to back out of the driveway, making sure not to scrape against his dad's precious truck that he was sure he cared about more than him. He was pleased with the first song that popped up, 'Adore You' by Harry Styles. He turns onto the street in front of his house going well under the speed limit just to be careful. He smiled along as the song progressed to the end.

He contemplated taking the highway, but the highway scared the shit out of him, so he stayed on the backroads. The next song was of course a song by One Direction, '18' to be specific. Damn did he miss the excitement of going to their concert when he was eleven, with Luke.

But no, this drive wasn't about Luke. This was about him having a good time to clear his head of Luke. He grabs his phone, looking between it and the road in front of him frequently, trying to change the song.

Next up was 'Wondering' by Olivia Rodrigo and Julia Lester. A song from a show that he binged last year, with Luke. Goddammit why was everything all of a sudden about him? He kept it on though, because he appreciated their vocals, and he really did enjoy the song.

The playlist just kept going for the longest time, all things pertaining to Luke, but he was sure it was all in his head. This was fun nonetheless. Out on his own, driving, and blasting the music he wanted, without having to share the AUX with Luke.

_Fuck_ _Luke,_ he thought as he drove past the school. _Fuck Luke for thinking giving our song to Julie was okay. Fuck him for putting me through hell and back with the break up. Fuck him for acting like nothing happened between us when we rehearse. Fuck him for denying the oncoming rumors of us dating. Fuck him for invading my thoughts like this._

He needed to calm down, because road rage was not what he needed right now.

The next song was something that he didn't recognize. He didn't really want to try out new songs, so he reached over to pick up his phone from his seat hearing the first Lyrics.

_I got my drivers license last week, just like we always talked about._

Oddly specific. He still was going to skip it, until his phone ended up falling in between the seats.

"Shit!" he cursed. I guess listening to this song wasn't the worst thing in the world.

_'Cause you were so excited for me to finally drive up to your house, but today I drove through the su_ _burbs, crying 'cause you weren't around._

Her voice seemed familiar. And once again, he had nothing to do but think about Luke.

Luke was excited for him to be able to come over whenever, and drive them around, and here he was driving alone in the dark, not crying though. Yet.

_And you're probably with that blonde girl, who always made me doubt, she's so much older than me, she's everything I'm insecure about. Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'cause how could I ever love someone else?_

Julie wasn't blonde, nor was she older, but he was always worried Luke would leave him for her. He convinced himself he was crazy, but now thinking back on it, was he?

_And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, and I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone? Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me. 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street._

His heart sank. Luke had to have meant what he wrote in that song, it was from his heart, and it was everything he ever wanted to work on when he was in the midst of writing it. But then again, he practically just threw it away like it really didn't mean anything.

This was a beautiful song, and it would have brought tears to his eyes even if it didn't remind him of anyone, so you can imagine how sad he was hearing this now that he and Luke barely spoke to each other anymore.

_And all of my friends are tired of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them 'cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah. Today I drove through the suburbs, and pictured I was driving home to you._

Alex was sobbing.

It was true, he never stopped talking to Bobby and Reggie about how much he loved Luke, even though Luke had seemed to move on. But they'll never get it because they were never in love with him.

_And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, oh and I just can't imagine, how you could be so okay now that I'm gone?_

"I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me!" he belted, getting angry. How could Luke have claimed to love him, when all he was doing now was bringing him pain and sorrow. Tears rolled down his face, cheeks warm and red.

_'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street._

_Red lights, stop signs, I still see your face in the white cars, front yards, can't drive past the places we used to go to, 'cause I still fuckin' love you, babe._

_Sidewalks we crossed, I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing, over all the noise, god, I'm so blue, know we're through, but I still fuckin' love you, babe._

He looks into his rearview mirror, seeing the backseat they spent countless nights in each other's arms, kissing, and being them, Luke's familiar laugh in his ear.

_I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one, and I just can't imagine, how you could be so okay now that I'm gone?_

_Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me._

  
_'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street._

  
_Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street._

The song ends, and a random rap song comes on. Alex leans forward, turning it off, needing a break now that the feelings in his head for Luke were stronger than ever.

He did love him. But he wasn't so sure Luke loved him back anymore. He pulls over quickly before he gets too sad to drive on. He rests his head on the steering wheel trying to catch his breath, because that song was all that he was feeling and more.

He digs for his phone, unlocking it to call Reggie.

r

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"I-I know, I saw your contact." he can hear panicked breathing through the phone, "Is everything okay?"

"No, I heard this s-song that made me think about Luke," he gripped at his chest, "I-I think I'm about to have a panic attack."

"Where are you?" there was no response, "Alex! Where are you?"

"I'm in the middle of no where, a-and I didn't know what do d-do."

"It's gonna be okay, just breath. Remember what we did last time?" Alex nods to absolutely no one, "One, two, three, four, five." he breathed in waiting for Reggie to start counting again, "One, two, three, four, five." he exhales.

He can tell the phone is being passed around, "Alex?" Luke's voice rings in his head.

"Luke?"

"Alex, you need to tell me where you are. Look around and tell me what you see."

"There's a... a lot of trees." he knew that wasn't helpful, but that's all he could think of.

"Do you have snap maps on?" no response, "Alex, do you have snap maps on?" the shuddered breath translates through the phone. Luke just checks anyways thanking the heavens he had them on. "Okay, me and Reggie are on our way, ready? One, two, three, four, five." Alex follows along, "One, two, three, four, five." the sound of them getting into the car fills his head, trying not to think of the impactful words of the song. Luke repeats the counts of five that help as much as they can, but he needs human contact right now, specifically from Luke.

Their car pulled in front of Alex's, running to him as fast as they could. Alex was much more calm now, but he was still crying with the lyric, _I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me,_ still spinning around his head. Reggie opened his car door reaching over to unbuckle him, and pulling him out leading him over to the grass. Luke texted his mom to tell her that everything was okay.

"Alex, what's goin' on buddy." Luke used to call him that even when they were dating. They both sat him down in the cold patch of grass. Luke's thumb caresses his knuckles, while Reggie just watches. This is about Luke and Alex, and he knows there's nothing he could say to make that any different. He drove Luke here, and he was happy that he could help at least that much.

"Shh." Luke whispers into his ear, resting his cheek onto his head, letting him lean on his body. "I'm here, I'm here."

"I love you." Alex slips out not even realizing he said it.

"I love you too, bub." Luke leans down to kiss his cheek, "Always and forever." Alex sits up, looking into his eyes. He leans in to kiss him, but Luke pulls away. "Woah there, what're you doing?" at least he's not being mean about it.

"I'm sorry." Alex's eyes soften leaning back into Luke.

"It's okay." Luke pulls him closer, "Can I listen to the song?"

"I can't listen to it again." Alex shakes his head.

"I have my AirPods." Luke pulls out his phone, handing it to Alex to search up the song.

"Here." Alex hands it back, holding him close as the song begins in Luke's ears.

Right off the bat, he knows this is a really sad song. The lyrics play in his head, seeing how Alex could relate to what she's singing. Then the line that broke Alex plays, and tears are brought to his eyes too, but he keeps listening.

When the song ends, he slowly takes the AirPods out of his ears, putting them back in their case.

"You think I didn't mean what I put in our song?" Alex likes his use of our.

"You gave it to Julie and didn't even ask me, you minds as well rip it out of your songbook forever."

"Alex, I gave it to her to remind myself of what we had. No one ever brings it up anymore and I needed something to hold onto you with."

"But, you deny the rumors-"

"No. I told the whole basketball team about us at practice, I loved you. I still do."

"What about Julie?"

"She's my best friend. There is nothing going on between us." Luke suddenly has the urge to kiss Alex too, so he does.

It's slow, but it's like a breath of fresh air. It's what they both needed, and now that they have it, they can't stop.

"I'm still here." Reggie scoffs throwing his hands up in the air. Luke and Alex both stick their middle fingers up at him, no wonder they're soulmates. "I guess I'll just leave then." he thought that would make them realize they needed to stop, but nope.

Once they finally do end up stopping, Alex helps Luke up and offers him a ride now that Reggie has completely and utterly abandoned them.

"I'd like that." Luke smirks. Now Alex finally gets to drive Luke around, just like they always talked about.


End file.
